The Basics of Emotional Wellness

emotionalwellness

Hi everyone! So happy that you’re here reading part two of my series, How to Create a Wellness Lifestyle. This week’s post will be an introduction to emotional well-being and the traits that we exude when we’re healthy in this realm of life. Out of the six dimensions of wellness that I outlined last week, I believe that emotional wellness is the most crucial area needed in order to lead a contended lifestyle. You might have all of the other aspects of life balanced, but without emotional stability, you’re probably finding that things are feeling a bit chaotic or under-the-weather.

The two most important characteristics of emotional wellness are the ability to acknowledge your emotions and to express them in appropriate ways. Most people that I’ve met seem to be very out of touch with how they’re feeling on a day-to-day basis. We often don’t take the time to listen to our subconscious, inner thoughts enough in order to read what we need more or less of in our lives.

But acknowledging and accepting your emotions, no matter how ashamed having them might make you feel, is such an important step for getting to know yourself better and understanding how to work with your emotions.

I’ve found that how we view others and treat them is usually a mirror to how we’re feeling deep inside. Challenge yourself to be hyper-aware of your negative thoughts for a week, and try to critique all of them to find out what they really mean. Don’t take your emotions at face value!

For example: My boyfriend has been feeling unlike himself in the past few days. He’s been stressed, and his normally joyful, funny personality just isn’t shining through as brightly. But before Stefan acknowledged his emotions and told me all about how he was feeling last night, I was starting to feel panicked. I put it all on myself and wondered if I’d done something wrong. But when I think about it- was he treating me any differently? Nope, still as loving as ever. Was he being mean to me? Definitely not! So I was projecting my insecure feelings onto him, like it was his fault they were bubbling up from my past, when really those emotions were just about my own baggage.

We project our emotions onto other people all the time, even when they have nothing to do with how we’re feeling. You know what I’m talking about… The mother who is scared about not being able to pay next month’s rent but takes that fear and lashes out at her kids. The colleague who always makes your dreams seem insignificant when really he’s upset because he hasn’t pursued any of his goals. If we try to see these emotional mirrors in ourselves and other people, we become so much better at expressing ourselves in a healthy way.

There are too many ways to express emotions for me to go through them all here, but to simplify things a bit, we can assume that any emotional reaction on an extreme side of the spectrum probably doesn’t count as “appropriate.” Here are a few examples:

  • Yelling or getting enraged about insignificant issues
  • Criticizing others when you’re feeling down about yourself
  • Bottling up all of your thoughts and feelings so that you won’t upset others

The above three examples are emotional extremes that will get you all wound up with poisonous, angry feelings without them actually helping your life one bit. They will only serve to push the people in your life away from you. I know from experience! When I was younger, I had tons of anger and bitterness trapped inside of me, and I had no clue how to properly express it. Instead, I got into verbal fights with anyone and everyone around me- especially authority figures! The funny thing is, I was so angry because I craved more love and quality time from those important to me, but my behavior only pushed people away more.

So what can you do to better acknowledge and express your true feelings? Here are some ideas:

Reflect

Like I said above, take a week to be extra aware of any time you feel a negative emotion- anger, sadness, jealousy, insecurity, judgment, etc. In the moments when you’re feeling that way, explore the “why” part of the problem. Why are you feeling this way? Deep down, is it really about the situation/ person at hand, or is it something in you? Perhaps it’s an issue from your past, or an insecurity that this person has absolutely nothing to do with. Dig around in those feelings to understand yourself more.

Move On

Once you’ve done that, don’t beat yourself up about it! If you’ve found that you’re directing your negative emotions at the wrong person/ issue, don’t make yourself feel guilty and sad. Just accept that it happened, apologize sincerely, and move on to change your emotional well-being for the better!

Be Positive

Learn from your mistakes in a positive way. Everyone makes mistakes sometimes, but the people with emotional wellness are the ones who act to change their behaviors. Acknowledging emotions is the first step, but then we have to work to use them in a healthy way. Take it day by day! Be nice to yourself.

Love

It might sound cheesy or hippy-ish, but just choose love. When you feel the urge to say something judgmental or to react angrily, think: Do they deserve this? Will this make their life or my life any better? The answer is probably “no.” So instead, choose to love. Be kind. Why are we so harsh with our words anyway? The more often you choose the loving reaction, the more it will become a behavioral habit. Before you know it, your life will feel so much more positive and emotionally stable. That’s what happened to me when I was younger and lashing out all the time. I decided that I was sick of feeling constantly angry and mean, and I allowed the softer, sweet side of my personality to shine though. Now, that nice person is who I view myself as completely (but with some sass left over for fun, of course!).

Make Happiness a Priority

Straighten out your priorities and align your emotions with them. Make your emotional wellness important to your life. Are there certain people or activities that are depleting you of happiness? If you aren’t being treated the way you deserve to be treated, with kindness and respect, then let them go. People and activities that selfishly bring you down don’t deserve your time. You have the right to be happy just as much as anyone else.

Meditate

Practice meditating to gain more clarity in your mind and calm in your life. If you have a hyperactive brain, try activities like yoga, dancing, surfing, or doodling. They’ll provide a similar effect by keeping your mind focused on one task instead of worrying about a million life issues.

Ask for Help

Don’t try to go about hard times alone. Find people that you can open up to so that you can keep emotions from building up inside. And if you’re having serious emotional problems that are dramatically altering your life, please visit a therapist or doctor!


I could literally create an entire blog about the importance of emotional wellness and tips for stabilizing this area of life, so I hope this post can work as a basic introduction to the overwhelming amount of information I could give! If you have any specific questions for me regarding this topic, please leave it in the comments below! The next post in the series will cover spiritual wellness- one of the areas that I’d like to improve more in myself.

So what do you need to improve upon emotionally? Do you need to be more communicative about how you’re feeling with your significant other? Or maybe you need to filter yourself better, because you say things that *sting* too much? Let me know below, and please share with your friends! 🙂

Have a wonderful weekend,

xo Caylee

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5 Things I’ve Learned About Life This Summer

shining light quote

1. Your community doesn’t have to be made up of the people in your town.

In this age of the internet where people from all over the world can connect over Twitter, Facebook, and a variety of other social media forms, why not take full advantage of this opportunity? I used to scoff at getting deeply involved in social media, because I thought it was a waste of time- that is, until I started utilizing it for my blog. And now, in just the past two months, I’ve met some of the coolest lady bloggers online! From my experience, it can be difficult making new friends in your community once you’re out of college, because often times, you’re just waiting for a serendipitous event to bring you in contact with friendly and interesting people. Instead of restricting yourself to only forming business and friendship connections with the people in your local community, think outside of those social limits. I’ve been meeting amazing people who share many of my common goals and interests though participating in fun Twitter parties and inspiring Facebook groups. If you’re not feeling supported by your friends at home, perhaps your soul people are waiting to connect with you from other cities!

2. I’m the best version of myself when I’m on the go and traveling.

When Stefan and I were vacationing in Costa Rica a few months ago, he remarked that I’m so much happier and energetic when I’m traveling. I would hop right out of bed at the break of dawn, and I’d be ready to explore for the whole day. I felt exactly the same when I was on my recent road trip up the East Coast- pumped to try anything fresh that came my way. I thrive on a combination of being busy and inspired, rolling in momentum over stagnancy. But traveling and being on the go is surely not what makes everyone the best version of themselves. It’s important for each of us to listen to our bodies and realize when we feel most energetic and in the flow of things. Then, do more of it!

3. Just because you follow your passion doesn’t mean success will come quickly.

Wouldn’t it would be wonderful if dream jobs and amazing lifestyles came easily to us all? Though I do believe that part of the struggle is just letting go of our ego and ignoring what other people want for our life, it really is true that work is inevitable. I could spend all day writing articles, marketing on social media, reading coaching books, and learning tips for small businesses. Even though I have a deep love for this whole business building process, it’s hard on the days when I feel like I didn’t get anywhere. I always have to remind myself that it takes time to become successful. So here are my thoughts- if we’re all going to work long hours to make it big and earn money in any industry we choose, why not pick the path that makes us happiest? It’s a no-brainer. That’s why I’m starting from the bottom and working hard to become a coach and blogger. It’ll still be a challenge, but at least I’ll be in love with my job.

4. When you follow what makes you happy, you’ll give off a shining light that attracts amazing people.

Which traits are most appealing to you: joyful, kind, and inspired OR bitter, selfish, and dull? I’m assuming you picked the former. From my experience, the more you embody these positive personality traits, the more people you attract into your life who value the same positivity in life. Truth: I can be the sassiest person on earth, but I was tired of the negativity and dramatic things that were being drawn to me. Instead, for the past couple of years, I’ve been trying to act from a place of love and understanding in every situation that I’m met with. Is it difficult at times? Hell yes. Does it sound hippy-ish to do that? Probably. But does it make me a happier person? No question about it. The best part is that during conscious attitude change the negative people naturally distance themselves from you and the positive people stick to you like a magnet.

5. On that note, you have to accept and set free the people/ things that are drifting away from your life.
Struggling and fighting to keep them with you isn’t allowing the natural course of life to take place. Let it flow. Though it can be challenging, let them go in a peaceful, loving way. It’ll hurt you and make you feel all alone, but I believe that if they were meant to be in your life, they would be. And if they’re meant to come back into your life in the future, they will.

So what are the biggest things you’ve learned about yourself, or about life, this summer? Please share with me in the comments below!

Have a great end of the week,

xo Caylee